Shesavestheworld

I have been doing a bit better on my previously posted goals-  I had the chance to flake out twice this week and I have not!  Hurrah!  This is a start; not much, but a start.  I am still consuming a bit of artificial sweeteners- though mostly via beverages (diet coke*, sugar free syrups and splenda).  The more I cut down the better I feel but it is definitely a difficult habit to break.  

I’m still pining for the guy.  I don’t know what my deal is.  I think it’s funny that I always want what seems unobtainable.  The thing is, I know I don’t want to hurt him… and therefore I know I should stay away from him.  Am I scared that I won’t find another?  I’m not really sure. I was comfortable with him but not to the level I wanted.  I need to be able to communicate with a person about things that matter.  I think part of the issue is that I am not entirely stable myself.  No- I am not “crazy”.  Emotionally, however, I have been through a lot so I think that it would be very difficult for anybody in my position to be emotionally stable.  So do I wait to become this stable person (who, to be honest, I have never been) or do I accept myself for the way I am at present?  A question to ponder. 

On another note- my uncle and I looked at a car the other night- a  2007 Toyota Yaris.  It was beautiful and it was such a smooth ride.  

2007 Yaris

I love the car but it is about $11,000 with 45K miles on it.  Financially, I think it would be wise if I aim for a car between 7K and $10K.  We are supposed to look at some cars at the Honda dealership on Friday night.  Once I have a car (of my own) I think I will feel a little better and slightly more independent.  Does anyone have any suggestions for a reliable car that is typically inexpensive?  I think the Toyota is my best bet  for this but I am open to suggestions.

My brother moved out  on Sunday and so my sister and  I are hoping to finally have our own space (we have shared a room our entire lives until I went to college- now that I am back we are together again and it has been a tough transition).  I think this will also lead to some obtainable independence and mental sanity.  My hope is that I will be able to organize my life a bit more once I am able to spread out.  For me, organization is key to feeling calm.  

* As a side note- I used to be a diet coke ADDICT.  Literally, 5 cans per day (cans only, not bottles).  Last night I bought coke zero because the store was out of diet coke.  Can we say disgusting? Apparently it has a higher Acesulfame potassium: Aspartame ratio… in the end, it’s all chemical.
  I don’t know how anyone can drink it… and I say this while I am choking down a can.     A bit hypocritical, maybe, but I’m desperate.  I’m trying to cut down on my caffeine and, seeing as coke has fewer mg than a cup of starbucks coffee I feel this is better.  Not better for my teeth.  After I buy (and enjoy) a 12 pack of diet coke THEN I will switch to coffee and tea.  

I miss diet cherry coke.